“I’m bored, but, rather than get up and do something, I’m going to tell others how bored I am.”
—Twitter Users Everywhere
According to twitter, people are bored. And according to a recent study, nearly two thirds of all tweets are considered “boring.” Surprising? Not really. In fact, every five minutes, about forty people new people tweet about their unbearable ennui.
Whether it be the after-school teen, lazy CEO, or even a grown man dumping five-thousand ping pong balls into a hollow tree, unabashed tweeters proudly display their boredom.
Of course, at Vimbly, we gave up boredom years ago. With, quite literally, hundreds of NYC activities at your feet, when’s there time to be bored? In the matter of a few clicks, you can be on your way to a DSLR Photography class or a James Bond experience (PG, obviously). Keep telling us there’s nothing to do.
Still, here are seven clearly bored people:
“Hi, Bored. I’m Vimbly.”—Vimbly Grandpas everywhere
What would a hundred-times a millionaire (and heiress) need? Love? Affection? Acting lessons?
But, if we know Miley as well as we think we do (mostly from her celebrity tweets), she enjoys a good party in the USA, especially when that one Jay-Z song is on.
Miley, we informally invite you to a Private DJ Lesson in NYC.
Why? Obviously because, when the DJ plays your song, you feel all right. It’s time to become the DJ. Play that Jay-Z or Britney song whenever you feel your tummy turnin’.
Okay, Ice. Let’s collaborate and listen.
Vimbly’s here with a certain proposition.
Something to grab a hold of you tightly,
A class that you certainly won’t tread lightly.
Love it or leave it this is our manifesto
How ‘bout a course makin’ gelato?
But, for real, a gelato making class will teach you the intricacies behind a different type of vanilla ice—a vanilla ice rooted in Italian tradition and sugary delight, not to say you aren’t delightful, Mr. Ice. This course could prove more interesting than soliciting @ mentions from tweens.
Chaz, dear, could you say anything more “vimbtastic?”
Literally every class on our platform is geared towards people like you—the Renaissance men and women looking to perfect everything from understanding body language to a shimmy.
We’ll just leave this here…
It’s a good idea in the same sense that reading anything by James Joyce is a good idea. It’s a good idea in the same way that watching every Lord of the Rings movie in twenty-four hours is a good idea. It’s a good idea in the same way that surrounding a tree with buckets ranging in point values, carrying five-thousand ping pong balls, climbing atop a tree, and then individually dropping a ball, thus making a challenging game of Plinko.
For those with a similar adventurous spirit, how does an NYC scavenger hunt sound? Rather than searching for ping pong balls and a lumberjack, traverse the city in search of clues to solve a murder-mystery. Imagine Law & Order without Ice-T…
This sounds vaguely like a Natalie Imbruglia song…
It also sounds vaguely like the crummy activity.
So what would a crumbum like Leslie enjoy?
He’d probably enjoy a bit of chow.
In a single NYC cooking course, he’ll no longer crumble on the kitchen floor; instead, Leslie can craft his own crumbs.
Some of the best celebrity tweets have come from Mr. Ferrell. And his boredom could be worse, he could instead pretend to be an elf or witch or race car driver.
Not to uproot this Oompa Loompa campaign, if the man’s set on transforming into a carrot when bored, maybe learning some urban gardening skills will plant the proper seeds of knowledge into this hair.
Buddy, there’s so much more to learn. We’d, first, like to offer a course in poker, so you know how to properly gamble. Then, you’ll need to learn basic self-defense, especially if you let people willingly punch you in the face. Finally, you seem like the kind of guy who needs a beer.