Holly
Some of the things we learn in college we will take with us through life. These words are not those things.
1) Tinder
When you’re in college: The sketchy yet fun dating app you’d never actually use to meet people.
In the real world: How you met the guy you’re now seeing.
2) Three-Day Weekend
When you’re in college: The only kind of weekend.
In the real world: An elusive phenomenon that requires your boss’ approval to take Friday off.
3) Ethnic Food
When you’re in college: Chipotle.
In the real world: Cambodian, Cuban, Korean, Yemeni, Greek — thank you, Seamless.
4) Sleep
When you’re in college: What you’ll be doing before class, during class, after class — but definitely none of tonight.
In the real world: What you’ll be doing by 10pm.
5) Letters
When you’re in college: ΔΓ, ΚΣ, KKΓ, ΑΧΩ, ΣΦΕ — on every piece of clothing you own.
In the real world: As in “Cover Letters,” a.k.a. the bane of your unemployed existence.
6) Sunday night
When you’re in college: The most horrifying hours of your whole week; spent in the library, panicking, crying, procrastinating, or all of the above.
In the real world: The most blissful hours of your whole week; spent on your couch, doing absolutely nothing but watching HBO and Netflix.
7) Cheers to the Gov’nah!
When you’re in college: Only the greatest drinking game ever.
In the real world: Nothing you should ever say in public.
8) Professor
When you’re in college: Either your worst enemy, or the greatest, smartest individual in your life.
In the real world: What you should have become.
9) Single
When you’re in college: Describes a person who likes their freedom and is therefore not in a relationship.
In the real world: Describes a person who is too picky and is therefore not in a relationship.
10) Theme
When you’re in college: The kitschy title of the party you’re attending, which predetermines the awesomeness, and/or ridiculousness of your outfit, and of the party itself.
In the real world: The kitschy layout of your WordPress account.
11) Roommates
When you’re in college: Your best friends who you couldn’t imagine living without.
In the real world: Friends of a family friend and her boyfriend… It pays the bills.
12) Townies
When you’re in college: The slightly questionable people who live locally, and hang out at college bars despite being noticeably older than the median age.
In the real world: You.
