(DISCLAIMER: This title is a bit of a misnomer. In no way do we endorse you celebrating your birth for only one day. If you’re tryna live it up for your birthweek or even your birthmonth for the more intensely narcissistic, then read/party on.)
Life is all about giving and receiving, right? Correct…364 other days a year. BUT NOT TODAY. Go shawty, it’s ya birthday. Ya gotta party like it’s ya birthday. For a large chunk of modern history, earthlings thought the sun revolved around the earth. It’s not going to kill anybody if you act like it revolves around you for just one measly day…
Actually, why limit the celebration to just a 24-hour you fest? You is kind, you is smart, and you is important. Ergo, you deserve to keep the ball rolling for at LEAST an entire week of festivities.
That sounds like a lot of pressure to plan, amirite? Luckily for you, we’ve got you covered for an entire week’s itinerary of birth-celebrating festivities. Here are some super awesome ways to celebrate your birthday:
1.) Monday– Shirk off all responsibilities and just don’t go to work or class. Ya see, Monday is like that friend no one wants at the party but plans on coming anyway. Just explain to it that its invitation is not lost in the mail — it was intentionally never sent — and use this self-proclaimed day off to do whatever the hell you want.
2.) Tuesday– Catch a show! This will allow you to celebrate with much younger or much older relatives, as it’s much tamer than other typical birthday festivities — and be honest with yourself here, you’d go see Cinderella on Broadway in a heartbeat.
3.) Wednesday– Uh oh, guess what day it is… Celebrate your birthday humpday doing something you’ve never done before. And I don’t just mean “ordering the beef instead of the chicken” never done before. How do you feel about aerial silks? (I’ll wait, you Google.) Start off another year on this big blue and green marble the right way: chowing down on a plate of adventure with a side of the unknown.
4.) Thursday– Thursday can only mean one thing — IT’S TIME TO TREAT YO’ SELF. Get as fancy as you desire and enjoy the finest wining and dining that you, your parents, your date, or whoever’s footing the bill can afford. Plus ten points if dinner takes place on a boat.
5.) Friday– It is GO TIME. This is not a time to be conservative with your -ahem- consumption, or your actions, or the amount of fun you’re having. Have your fun dial all the way turned up, as this will be a celebration you won’t want to forget (but probably will anyways, so, yeah, probably bring your camera?)
6.) Saturday– HOLY HANGOVER, BATMAN. Time to take it easy, especially if you want to be ready for round two that night. An art gallery or a museum can be a nice, quiet, and *DARK* place to recover. You deserve this one.
7.) Sunday– The proof is in the pudding that all good things must come to an end. Hit up brunch with your crew, and scroll through pictures from the week in a fashion similar to the ending of The Hangover. Opt for an endless mimosa meal and turn your reminiscing into a drinking game: Every shameful picture you have no recollection of, take a sip, for all of youmankind.
Don’t these all sound like awesome ways to celebrate your birthday? You’re welcome, GO NUTS.