I told nearly a dozen puns to make my friends laugh, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did…

Needless to say, you will not be able to withstand the audacity of these 10 ridiculous puns:

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was great.

2. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies “Yes, I’m positive.”

3. Did you hear about that awesome new theatrical production about puns? It’s a great play on words.

4. A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

5. Freud may have been convinced that human beings are always subconsciously thinking about sex, but I believe that’s just a phallacy.

6. Be careful never to accidentally swallow scrabble tiles, that crap could spell disaster.

7. You may temporarily forget how to throw a boomerang, but it will always come back to you.

8. Getting diagnosed with dyslexia was especially devastating to the man who thought he’d been having sexdaily.

9. Five years without meat made the vegetarian realize it was all a huge missed steak.

10. If you’re ready to get over your addiction to children’s games, go to Hokey Pokeys Anonymous and turn yourself around.


These puns may be physically painful, but there’s nothing worse than writer’s block. If you’re having any difficulty kicking your writer’s block to the curb, check out our exclusive guide here: The 8 Fold Path to Lifting Your Writer’s Block.


And they said “words can never hurt you.” Ha!