Whether you like the thrill of a good time crunch or you’re just that bad of a procrastinator, Halloweekend is upon us and apparently you still don’t have a costume. I really feel like I’m pulling all the weight in this relationship (seriously, what happened to these 30 amazing costume suggestions)?!
Here are 20 decent Halloween costumes your lazy self will have to settle for since you autonomously chose to wait until the last minute. (Remember, you did this to yourself.)
1. Mike Tyson
Don’t even play this game with me, I know you own a goddamn black marker.
2. Where’s Waldo?
3. A Mime
Red and white stripes not your thing? Trade ’em in for black and white, add a little face paint, and be a mime! Best part? You don’t have to talk to aaaaaaanyone, all night long.
4. A Bank Robber
OR, if you’re not down with that face paint life (or, like me, simply think mimes are TERRIFYING), try this robber getup instead.
5. Risky Business
Sure, it’s played out, but it’s your own damn fault for waiting this long. Added bonus: You’ll get a killer group photo with all the other Tom Cruises in the room (there will be plenty).
6. The Most Interesting Man In The World
Just wear a pin striped suit and carry around a bunch of Dos Equis bottles all night (note: this only works if you’re actually okay with drinking Dos Equis all night). Memorize some quotes for effect, if that’s not too much effort for you.
7. Justin or Britney from the 2001 VMA’s
DENIM, DENIM, DENIM.
8. Wilson from Home Improvement
Plaid shirt, bucket hat, and a tongue depressor picket fence. Minimum effort, maximum effect.
9. A *Cereal* Killer
Grab some boxes of cereal from your kitchen cabinets, color them red, and secure them to your shirt, and be sure to carry around a (FAKE) knife. With all these “scary” and funny props, your night will be both spooktacular and puntastic!
10. Magic 8 Ball
Perfect if you don’t really feel committed to the costume game. This easily (de)constructable costume can be achieved with an all black dress, an “8” drawn on a computer paper and affixed to your stomach, and one of these bad boys cut out of blue construction paper affixed to your back.
11. Easy A
Black tube top, construction paper “A” — that’s all you need for this costume. Nathaniel Hawthorne and Emma Stone would simply be tickled
12. A Soldier
Do you own a lot of camouflage? First off, why? Second, you pretty much have your work cut out for you, just finish the look with combat boots (which, if you already have a camouflage ensemble, I’m sure you own as well).
13. Jelly Beans
Hard to believe this great of a costume is just dollar store balloons and a clear trash bag.
14. Leslie Knope
This is officially the only time I will ever be envious of my flaxen counterparts solely because of their hair color. Don your best power suit, and paste or tape this “Knope 2012” cutout over any button you already own. Maybe even Seamless over some waffles from JJ’s Diner. You beautiful, rule-breaking moth.
15. The Wolf of Wall Street
As long as you got your suit and tie, a decent wrist watch, and a sandwich baggie of *ahem* baking soda, just act like a jerk and hopefully everyone will get it. It also wouldn’t hurt if you could rally everyone at the party to do that chest beating thing a few times throughout the night and maybe blow your nose with these $100 bill tissues.
No, not an athlete, isn’t that a little PLAYED out? (See what I did there?!) Just go as an amalgamation of all the sporting gear you own: Soccer shorts? Swimming goggles? Volleyball knee pads? Basketball jersey? Baseball bat? Ice skates? The more the merrier.
Pictured above: Single mindedness
17. Tour de Franzia
OR, for any of the more serious athletes up in the house, dig out your old Livestrong bracelet and pair it with some spandex shorts, a yellow shirt, and a box of Franzia (the last part being essential, or the joke doesn’t work…).
18. A Basic B*tch
“There’s a chance that nobody will be able to tell you’re actually in costume, though…shrug.” –Betches Luv This. C’est la (basic) vie.
Considering you’ve waited this long to plan a costume, I feel like I can make some assumptions about your lifestyle, one of them being that you’re the type of person who spends a lot of time in pajamas. Thus, you should have no problem wearing boxers, a plain white tee, and a bathrobe out in public. Sunglasses not optional.
Now, for the love of all that is holy, PICK A COSTUME. You’re giving us anxiety. Oh, and for your post-Halloween hangover, enter here for up to four chances to win a $50 Amazon Gift Card.