The air is moist, the act of typing seems labored, and the portable fans should be earning a salary for how relentlessly they’ve been working. There’s a constant sweaty mist on each employee’s face, giving everyone an eerie, melt-y sort of glow. Your brain is on overdrive as it carefully and continuously calculates how to complete daily tasks with as little movement as possible. One unnecessary standing motion could put you back in that sweating fit you just got rid of.
It’s downright steamy.
And not steamy in that under-the-table-coworker-fling kind of way. It’s more like a brick wall of humidity, or an office-sized sauna sort of vibe.
Are you losing us yet? In these early summer months have you yet to feel this incomparable heat wave we speak of?
Listen up, city dwellers. Here is our advice to you for keeping cool in your office during the summer city heat.
Tip #1: Portable Air Conditioners are Your New Bae
By day 2 of no AC, the situation is dire enough to call in backup. Cue the PAC’s. (Portable Air Conditioners).
These knights in shining armor are the solution to the upper-level-office blues, where the city heat climbs higher and higher, reminding you that there is no escape to this east coast humidity.
This PAC is your new priority — treat it better than you would your first-born child.
Put them everywhere.
Hug them when you can
Rearrange your office to create a wall of wind, and then never once leave that spot.
Whisper sweet nothing’s in their vents — whatever works to keep that air humming.
Vimbly Pro Tip: Put your real-life relationship on pause so you can treat yo PAC right.
Tip #2: Get. All. of. the. Fans.
So maybe you got the short end of the stick as far as PAC’s go. Not enough of them to go around? In that case, it’s time to go dual power mode.
One fan isn’t always enough for that stuffy city heat. So get needy — and maybe strategic. Spread your trips to the storage closet out over two days to get yourself two of those beautiful, oscillating tundra creation machines. They’re the perfect office tool for personalized ventilation and even that beachy wind-blown hair kind of look. Two birds with one stone!
Vimbly Pro Tip: Invest in a hair tie.
Tip #3: Avoid the Heating Tube of Death
How innocent and pure this flexible, cloth tube looks.
Avoid it all costs. On the other side of this here tube lies a different form of air conditioning unit. But while the inside of the room may by breezy enough to distract from the high temps, this tube is that Air Conditioning’s devil counterpart.
This tube spews a vile, hot air that cuts the already humid air with a blast of a fiery face-melting force. Spring past it, jump it, lock your doors and cover any holes. Do whatever you can to avoid the anti-AC. It’ll take the life out of you in mere minutes.
Vimbly Pro Tip: Run. Far away.
Tip #4: Frequent the Fridge
Have you stopped feeling the effects of your dual office fans or beloved PAC? Become immune to their icy blasts?
Perhaps it’s time for you to take a slow meander down to the office refrigerator, where a few moments of pondering what snack to pick can grant you a release from the office heat. Experience a new cooling sensation and feel the heavenly blast of cold fridge air on your sweaty face. Then hit your fans again — the fridge idea works for 15 seconds max.
Vimbly Pro Tip: Smaller snacks = more opportunities to go back and get more fridge air.
Tip #5: Strategic Breaks
In a city heatwave, there is a fine balance between moving too much and being too sedentary. Stay too still and you’ll drown in your own pool of moisture. Move too much and you’ll lose all your energy to the heat.
Plan your breaks to do multiple tasks at once. Alternatively, when you can’t take your sweaty office chair any longer, get yourself up for your third (iced) coffee break.
Vimbly Pro Tip: Learn to feel passionate about iced coffee.